by sofiya alexandra

Posts tagged beyonce

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My Beyonce Problem, or B’Week

I have a Beyonce problem. I am entirely fascinated with her in a way I could have never predicted. My favorite kind of music is early NYC punk. I like a pretty small slice of current pop music, and I am completely aware of the ridiculousness of all of Beyonce’s lyrics taken together. This is my most popular tweet:

I am a feminist and a thinking person, but when I talk about Beyonce my voice acquires a reverent tone other people reserve for Jesus or Breaking Bad. I can watch her videos all day. I have watched her videos all day. I am watching a Beyonce video right now, in the background. 

My feelings for Beyonce are a complex ball of sexual desire, admiration, anger, and dare I say it, LOVE? I could write a sonnet on her thighs alone. I am not well.

And don’t get me started on her dancing, because I will lose my fucking shit right now. RIGHT NOW. The Ego video once got me pregnant. I can’t even do this with you guys right now, I AM TOO EXCITED EMOTIONALLY AND SEXUALLY.

So anyway. I’m hoping to get a tight five on Beyonce I can do on stage and in the process, figure out what the hell my problem is. In that spirit, until next Tuesday, I am only tweeting jokes about Beyonce or Beyonce-related things.*

Welcome to B’Week, bitches.

*i’m sorry about this, but i’m sick and the only cure is more beyonce :(

Filed under Beyonce Twitter B'Day B'Week obsession jokes experiment diva popmusic standup DestinysChild

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The first episode of a web series I act in, So Natural, was mentioned on this rad best-of-sketch-comedy blog! And the same day the 4th episode made the front page of Funny or Die:! Woo-hoo HIGH KICKS OF HAPPINESS!!

I really love working on this project, all the women are amazing improvisers and incredibly fun to work with. We are basically in love. And Leena is a great writer/director and she doesn’t yell at us when we goof and talk too much but she’s also stern, but like a cutiepants stern, but still a powerful woman, but also like adorable with an elfish face, but still an independent strong powerful woman like Beyonce, but like without the confusing mixed signals about women’s relationship to wealth and marriage.

It’s nice to do what you love, whenever it happens it’s such a huge surprise and delight to me because most of our lifetimes are spent on jobs we don’t like or want. Comedy and whenever I get to do it is a gift and a fucking joy. I’m going to eat ice-cream now because that’s what delight means, suckers. 

I don’t know why I called you guys suckers earlier. I’m sorry. Don’t be mad, ok? I am mad with ice-cream power. I say things I don’t mean. I took your car. Your gym stuff and your baby were in there. One of them is here with me. It doesn’t matter which one. Let’s not make a big deal about this. I’ll see you around, suckers.


So Natural! - watch more funny videos

So, I have an 11 month old son, I take him to “Mommy (or Daddy in my case) and Me Movies” which is the phenomenon of taking your baby to the theater and watching a current movie with other parents and their babies.  You’ve heard of that right?  It’s a thing.

Anyway, I’m taking him to see What to Expect When You’re Expecting tomorrow because that’s what they programmed and I like to get out of the house.

This sketch is probably better than that movie will be.

Check out the So Natural! web series on Funny Or Die and follow them on Twitter.

Filed under so natural heather horton heather marion emily button leena pendarharkar sketch comedy delight small bears suckers funny or die bestsketchcomedy beyonce